Let’s be clear. Being your own authority does not mean being an authority for anyone else! It just means that you don’t let any one else become an authority for you. Everyone is free to choose, including you. And everyone is responsible for the choice that he or she makes. How else could it be?
Many people try to cross these clear lines of responsibility, but doing so only clouds their perception of reality. Don’t be a glutton for punishment. Honor these lines and you will honor each other.
First, understand that you are not taking responsibility for yourself when:
- You let someone else make choices for you, or
- You make choices for someone else.
This is co-dependence. It is not empowering to yourself or the other person. It may appear to gain you a temporary advantage, but you pay for that advantage by forfeiting your freedom to choose your own life.
It’s great to listen to others and learn from others. Intimate sharing is essential to your spiritual growth. It gives you feedback that you can use to expand your perceptions. But others do not know what you need. Even psychics and other intuitive persons cannot tell you what you need to know. They may supply an important piece of information or they may not. Either way, you are the person who must use this information to find your peace.
Understand that there are limits on what anyone can tell you that will be truly helpful. Those limits apply to what you can tell others. The most help you can give or receive from others is encouragement. Anything more than that is rarely helpful.
To be your own authority, you must let go of the concept that there is an answer outside of you. You must let go of the concept that there is something to achieve.
Authority comes directly out of experience. It says: “I honor my life. I accept what is true for me, even if it is not true for others.”
Inner authority is inconsistent with prescribing for others. As soon as you try to make others fit with your values and beliefs, you undercut the power of those values and beliefs in your own life. As soon as you need the agreement of others to honor your own life, you have lost touch with your inner authority.
PAUL FERRINI
Again and again, we are being put to the test of inner authority. We think we have passed the test, and then another comes along to show us that there is yet more to come.
To have inner authority, is to be true to myself – even if it means having to express what I do not agree with someone that I love, adore and respect. And yet, in that expression, there is no demeaning of another’s truth to their own; except respect and an encouragement of their very own inner authority.
Many a times, we forget that when we have inner authority, it shows by example to others and allow others the freedom to do the same. As if, a subtle blessing has been given to others too, to be true to themselves.
Thank you for the reminder and the sharing of your experience in the entry that followsuit this. Your authenticity have given blessings to many. :)
Glutton for punishment. Hahahahha…very well put. I guess it is human nature for many of us to be a sucker for punishment, eh?
What caught my attention was the fact that there are limits to how much we can help others. Encouragement is key; and not judgement passed onto others. Many a times we fail to do that and will be disappointed if others do not conform to our ideas or opinions. It is alright to disagree. No one knows us better than ourselves.
:D
I allow myself to help but I must not leave my “home ground”. In other words, I can only support but not helping. Helping puts me off tangent, away from my footing, my home ground. When I shift myself away from my base, I am already over-extending myself, even though it may just be a little shift. Nothing wrong with that, but it has its own consequences, its own pain. As when I move out from my footing, I have no other choice but to bring my footing onto other’s home ground, thus shifting them away too from their tangent. If they buy into my help, they are under-extending themselves. When I over-extend myself, I am also selling myself short – thus under-extending myself in the process. Strange but so true.
My home ground is my center, my groundness, my authority – my balance. When I am not balance, I am off tangent thus “hurting” myself at that moment. Thus, I can help, but not shifting my base – support will be a better word :)